Best Song Parody - LYRICS:
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Anything Goes
By Michael Glass
| Parody: | Original: |
Times have changed,
And we've often rewound the clock,
For the Puritans would be shocked,
At the thought they would trim their cocks.
If they thought
that their cocks would be trimmed,
'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock,
Plymouth Rock would land on them.
| Times have changed,
And we've often rewound the clock,
Since the Puritans got a shock,
When they landed on Plymouth Rock.
If today,
Any shock they should try to stem,
'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock,
Plymouth Rock would land on them. |
In Ancient times a glimpse of dick-head
was looked on as something wick-ed.
Now, Heaven knows,
Anything goes!
| In olden days a glimpse of stocking
Was looked on as something shocking,
But now, God knows,
Anything Goes. |
When foreskins covered sportsmen's willies
'twas all that a sportsman needed
In lieu of clothes...
For a fair go!
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Good authors too who once knew better words,
Now only use four letter words
Writing prose,
Anything Goes. |
Now today
In the USA,
Skin's cut today,
Off's in today,
On's off today,
And the look today
Is of Porno gigolos.
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The world has gone mad today
And good's bad today,
And black's white today,
And day's night today,
When most guys today
That women prize today
Are just silly gigolos |
So though I am no great romancer
I'm sure that I have the answer
To what they pose:
None of it goes!
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And though I'm not a great romancer
I know that I'm bound to answer
When you propose,
Anything goes
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