TLC TUGGER

My Dog
By Marcus

My parents kicked the puppy out in the cold

Like all of my neighbors, they do what they’re told

Told various excuses, from “sacrifice” to “sin” (or maybe just to fit in)

But I’m older now, and I brought him in

Hoping he’ll forgive me, I was young and had no clue

He’s meant to be indoors, and he appreciates it too

He’s more responsive, more energetic

More playful, more athletic

He used to be mean and gruff—

That harsh weather can be rough

He’s friendlier and plays nice with other dogs, which is great

Now I don’t need to worry he’ll rub them the wrong way

Surviving outdoors he developed a thick protective coat

Now it’s back to soft and shiny, and I can’t help but showboat

Marcus, University of Michigan pre-law student adds: 

I am still consumed by the yearning for my foreskin. My best friend is uncut and I get so self-conscious around him. It seems that nothing can go right. Ever time I get a little spare change and I am willing to go for broke and get the tugger, something comes up. I just had to buy insanely overpriced books for class a few weeks ago, then my sister sent me a little bit of money. I was ready to order but my computer's hard drive with all of my school work and music failed. I ended having to use the money to buy a part and get it serviced, to no avail. It also had the draft of the letter I wanted to send you I was writing for congress regarding circumcision, just one of the works I lost access to. I would so appreciate it if you were able to help me, I don't think you could even imagine how much. It pains me to be sitting idle when my regime could be underway right now. I do manual stretches, but in the long run that is ineffectual. It can't be maintained and I won't get real results. I tried sleeping with a metal ring as a makeshift retainer, but it too is impractical since I can't keep the glans protected constantly and the effort is lost. Thank you again,
Marcus