Best Original Song Entry - LYRICS:
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 I Want My Foreskin
Back
(adult content)
By The Insane Lane Band
Verse 1:
The doctor met with my parents
Soon after I was born
He told them it's a simple procedure
Don't look so forlorn
All the newborn boys are doing it
Let me take him in
And with just a minor incision
We'll get rid of all that excess skin
CHORUS:
The doctor snipped
He clipped
I lost half the feeling in my dick
He snipped
He clipped
I lost 50% of the feeling in my dick
I Want My Foreskin Back
I Want My Foreskin Back
I Want My Foreskin Back
I Want My Foreskin Back
I.........Want My Foreskin Back
Verse 2:
Now when I first heard about the loss
Of half the feeling in my crotch
I thought of all the times I'd cum
If my parents hadn't been so dumb
I'd cum in a stiff breeze
I'd cum every time I sneeze
I'd cum gazing at the big dipper
I'd cum when I zip my zipper
CHORUS
Hey Doc, can you help me out over here
I don't care where you get the skin
Just give me more feelin'
CHORUS
It's really a matter of time management more than anything else
Think of everything you can get done if that didn't take so long
Note from songwriter Layne Robert Skoyen:
I read an article about how males lose 50% of the feeling in their penis after circumcision. That was all I needed to know. I thought about how great it would be to have all that extra feeling - not to mention the time management issue. Think of everything you could get done if that didn't take so long! I know the women probably don't want to see their man with any more feeling - most of them probably don't last long enough as it is.
BIO:
I was born in 1960 in Wisconsin, yes I am a Cheesehead and damn proud of it - Go Pack! My first recollection of rock and roll music was the Beatles playing at Shea Stadium in the late 60's. I loved it and was hooked from that point forward. In my teenage years I never missed the American Top 40 count down. I grew up on a farm and can remember sitting in the cab of my Dad's tractor and singing every song - that tractor had a cool stereo!
In my later teen years I started writing songs and I didn't even play an instrument. I was not really sure why these songs were coming to me but I knew I had to learn to play guitar. When I turned 19, I started taking guitar lessons and worked hard to learn both rhythm and bass for several years. My music mentor told me I was good enough to join a band as a bass player - and get this, it was with him! We did cover tunes and had a great time. Once the band broke up I moved on to another one called Sojourn. We were a great party band and we played one of my original songs called "No Escape." It was a great feeling to play that song at bars and parties. Our drummer told me he got chills down his spine when we played it. But unfortunately, that band broke up too.
Many years later I was the commissioner of a Fantasy Football League. Every week I would write "The Word from the Commissioner." It started pretty innocent focusing on the rules of the league and the game of football. But as time went on "The Word from the Commissioner" started to change to words like Foreskin and Gerbil. Some funny stories were written.
Then one night in the early 1990's, I took out the guitar and played the old "No Escape" song. But this time I changed the words to "I Want My Foreskin Back" and the rest is history. No one ever requested the other songs I wrote but when they heard Foreskin, they wanted to hear it again. So one thing led to another and I started writing songs that had a risqué / perverted tone. As a matter of fact, many of the songs you hear on the "Nothing Fancy" CD are re-makes of other more serious songs I have written.
Well that's my story. I hope you enjoy listening to the "Nothing Fancy" CD as much as I enjoyed making it. My goal was to make it fun (and funny) with some great music! Thanks to the insane group of friends that helped me on this project. With their support I can honestly say we accomplished our goal. I would really like to thank each person individually, however, the members of the Insane Lane Band wish to remain anonymous - I can't really blame them.
Peace, Love & Laughter to you all!
Insane Lane
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